Tuesday, October 30, 2012

A marriage story



There's been a lot of commotion on Facebook these days about the upcoming election - especially with polarizing topics like the marriage amendment on the ballot.  I even had a friend of mine post today that she had just deleted all of her friends who had "liked" Mitt Romney's page! I can't say that I haven't considered hiding all of my friends who post so passionately about he or Pres. Obama, but I've got another direction I'd like to go.

Since most days I don't have the time or energy to battle over Facebook, I choose to tell you all about a couple friends of mine who decided to break the rules and get married instead. 

After keeping their love largely a secret (for fear of persecution and judgment in their small town) they chose to make the biggest commitment by getting married.  Even the few friends and family who knew about their relationship tried to talk them out of it, because of the ramifications it would have.  You see, their home state was one of those old rarities that not only didn't recognize their union, but maintained that it was a criminal act.

One day they went on a road trip to a different state and came back with rings and had their proudest achievement under their arm to hang on their bedroom wall - a legal certificate of marriage.  At no time did they triumphantly stick their relationship in people's faces who disapproved, nor did they judge those who used the Bible to tell them that they were an abomination.  In their eyes they were meant to be together and didn't see why a law or others opinions had anything to do with it.

Fast forward seven months to 2am at their home.  A brief knock on the front door was quickly followed by a group of police officers entering their room.  Acting on an anonymous tip, they had come to arrest them.  Knowing this day might come, they pointed to their marriage certificate and were then led out like thieves in handcuffs - not even allowed to share the same squad car to jail.  Their day in court eventually found them guilty, but the judge allowed them to waive their sentence if they moved out of the state.

After leaving their home and families behind, they moved to Washington D.C., the only place where they felt they could fight their fight and be heard by their home state.  Six years after their arrest, a  petition was heard by the court of appeals, but to their dismay the ruling was upheld.  A year later, the Presbyterian Church heard about their struggles and publicly stated that the church found "no theological grounds for condemning or prohibiting marriage between consenting adults..." This set about a chain of conversations that eventually resulted in their case going to the Supreme Court, who a year later said that "Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival...."

Oh wait, you didn't hear about this case?  It's probably because Mildred and Richard Loving had this monumental court case decided against the state of Virginia in 1966.  You see, Mildred was of American Indian and African heritage and her husband Richard was white, which was against the law there.  There were many God-fearing people at the time who believed what they did was against their faith and would lead to Armageddon and a host of problems, but the courts of our great country eventually saw those reasons as not nearly as important as a basic citizen's rights.

Many see this upcoming vote as one that must include one's personal comfort level or religious convictions.  I argue that to maintain the very freedoms that were fought and died over, we must give those very freedoms to all - including those who you may disagree with morally or otherwise.  If not for constitutional rights (which we all should hold to) for the common courtesy of allowing two consenting American adults to do as they choose.  There does not have to be a gay agenda. Just a human one.

1 comment:

  1. Good thoughts, Matt. I fear that a particular problem with the whole issue is that the proposed "solution" isn't the appropriate one. Regardless of what happens, either route opens a can of worms. Unfortunately, as well, it seems to be another one of those issues where both sides are arguing past each other-offering compelling arguments on both sides, yet in their arguments, not truly addressing the other side's arguments. I get really annoyed by the scare tactics that are used on either side-that being said, I think this article addresses the issue rather well and honestly from an attorney's point of view.
    http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentaries/176040711.html

    Honestly, I don't like 'yes' or 'no' or how either side is behaving. Perhaps, once again, Jesus has a third way.

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